Parenting

Ways to prepare your firstborn for a sibling

Being acceptable of a sibling is not easy for every child and it is our responsibility as a parent to prepare them early before the baby is due.

When I completed my first trimester, me and my husband talked to Eira that we were expecting. She was on top of the world but I still knew I had to prepare her for all the changes she is gona see in me and after the baby comes.

Ways I prepared Eira during pregnancy,
✓ Sharing the pregnancy news together as parents. The child should not come to know from someone else.
✓We read about the baby’s development together every week. So there were no surprises when my bump started to grow and she knew exactly what was going on inside me.
✓ I involved Eira in my pregnancy announcement.
✓ Reading books about being a big sister and how the baby will be.
✓ Talking about her also being responsible for the baby and that the baby wil learn more from her.
✓ Reading to the bump together. Since her reading skills had developed she read more stories to the baby and made some of her own.
✓ Some kids expect that when the baby comes, they wil be able to play right away, so we talked about how she can be involved with the baby by reading, singing, playing her guitar, changing diapers, helping during bath time, etc.
✓ Some kids expect a certain sibling like Eira wanted a sister. We talked about how nature takes its course and a healthy and happy baby is what we should be looking forward too.
✓ We also shared stories about when I was expecting her and she used to find them very interesting.

Some kids are well prepared but once the baby arrives, everyone’s attention seems to shift and that can change the elder child’s mind.

We started the connection between them right at birth. When the baby was taken to the family, I had asked the doctor in advance to let Eira be the first one to see and hold the baby. Of course their Dad was there. I cannot express how happy and special she felt and how she talks about it till date. At that moment itself, the big sister feeling had taken over.

Ways to avoid jealousy between siblings:
✓Make sure there is an alloted amount of time for the elder child everyday.
✓They should be included in the daily chores of the baby showing that even they are needed by the baby. Reading, singing, baby exercises, fetching diaper essentials, helping during bath time can be done together.
✓ Try to avoid conversations where family and friends talk about how parents love little ones more.
✓ When the older sibling needs a parent, it just might not be patient enough to understand that the baby is crying or feeding, etc. That is a great time for Dads to step in and take it ahead. For kids who need their mothers the most, this step needs to come in practice during pregnancy phase itself.

At the end, we also need to understand that they are kids themselves. We need to cut them some slack. Give them a little time and they will definitely come around with our love and support! 😊

32 thoughts on “Ways to prepare your firstborn for a sibling

  1. I agree prepare your first born is must when it is time for arriving second one. You had shared great tips and I had follow most of these when I was second time pregnant.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Yes that could be a challenging task isnt it? I do not have kids but this post did definitely make me think that there is a effort to prepare your first child about the new baby and it has to be done with a lot of care and love. Good read.

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  3. Yes it is very important to prepare children for their upcoming siblings and also many factors need to be taken care of!
    I had seen a cousin’s son saying ki “Agar ladki hui toh mai dustbin me daal dunga” 🙄

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  4. I agree with you. Touch wood , I haven’t face this problem but we keep on making elder one part of our pregnancy conversation and how she will take care as big sister. I remember when my son was little ,my daughter ask me to taught her about how to make milk for his little brother.

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  5. agreed to you.. but elder one couldn’t get a chance to involve herself in little sis arrival as she was too young to understand all this. She was just a year old then… 🙂 but now both of them has a great bonding.

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  6. Aayera was just 3 when I had Aaryaveer but I made sure I pay more attention to Aayera and continue doing everything for her like nothing has changed. Now my two monkeys cannot stay with out each other and when put together cant wait to ripoff each others hair 😂😂

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  7. Nice post. Rishab was 4 when we had Saanvi. Rishab was a protective brother from Day 1. He used to take care of Saanvi, making sure she is happy all the time. We never had to teach him anything, he showed natural love for his newborn sister.

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  8. Seema, this is one of the best posts in preparing the elder child for the arrival of a new baby. As of now, Ayaansh is very welcoming but can’t say about tomorrow. I am going to remember these wonderful pointers in balancing the love showered on both the kids.

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  9. my sister is struggling alot. she is 9 months pregnant and her elder son is very anxious of having younger sibling. you have mentioned it so well. i will surely share further.

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  10. Loved your post! 6 years ago, I wrote about the same topic when I had my second baby. Trust me, its been a blissful ride so far. I am so glad to read your post. You have established a beautiful bond between your kids right from the start, and this will help them throughout their life. Fantastic post! Give yourself a pat on the back!

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  11. Yes involving kids right from starting is sure best thing to do. Even we had involved our first kid in all activities and yes we need to keep away people who say stuff that little ones are the one who will be more dearer to parents.

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  12. you have mentioned very good pointers. It gets even more difficult when the age gap is very less! But involving them from the start is the best thing to do.

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  13. It’s really important to prepare your elder child for the younger sibling. The elder one is also a kid and isn’t so mature and we don’t involve and make them understand it can have psychological implications. Your tips are really very helpful.

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  14. This is so true . In my case my elder son was fully involved with every chores during my pregnancy and was very much excited to meet the new tiny baby . But after the baby came initially he felt a bit jealous and at times he realised the situation and behaved normal .

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  15. I just soo love your blog everytime. I enjoy reading it so much. It is so apt and very true. Whenever we are planning our second child things are definitely to remember it. Your tips are really helpful for the mother who are planning for a second one.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Aww loved reading it, such amazing points you have shared, these are really helpful for parents to convince or discuss with their 1st born kid.

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