Parenting is one of the most difficult thing on this planet you might say but so is being a kid. Every little thing is new for those tiny brains. New things, new experiences and new tasks everyday. Sharing a thought from their minds or telling what happened with between them and a friend is a task altogether as they do not know how it will be taken as by us. Their parents!!
It is our job to make it easier for them to express their feelings, their emotions and their questions. But how can we do that??? As an overtired parent handling home and work life, you might find yourself complaining and nagging but that won’t work on them. It happened for me too but it got my daughter upset and she just didn’t want to open up to me. There were days when she chose not to do play or do activities when something had gone wrong at school or with a friend while other days she was in a peppy mood. There were some days when her paintings were amazing and somedays everything she did looked like chicken dance. It was a code that needed to be cracked and me expressing my feelings and emotions to her made things easier. She became more confident when she was able to predict my reactions towards her. She started sharing more and knew I would listen. That confidence of her in me gave me tremendous peace of mind and heart and I had a happy child.
I’m sharing some of the phrases that I use with my kids on a daily basis and that made a huge difference. Using them at instances everyday will help alot and you will be able to see a positive change in your kiddos too.
- I love you no matter what!
Would you not love to hear this over and over again. So do kids! Think of it as a reminder. Especially for little ones. They can’t hear enough of it and will always share the feeling back. There is no better booster than a dose of love from Mama and Papa.
- I’m grateful for you.
Having you is the best thing that happened to me. Mom and Dad have been blessed. You can even share with them the story of the day they were born with few hidden details of course. They feel special to know that you’re happy to have them. My daughter loves to hear over and over again how Dadda flew back to India from another country and was the most happiest Dad ever to have a baby girl.
- I believe in you.
When you say this to your kids, it boosts their confidence in you. They believe in you, trust you with their shares and secrets and want to come back to you with their problems. Even the things where they went wrong and everything went upside down.
- You make me proud.
This motivates kids to do better knowing that their effort is being appreciated. All they need is a pat on their back, a smile or a hug. These gestures shows that you notice their growth and they keep up with their efforts.
- You can always come to me.
Everyone does mistakes and kids learn through mistakes, trials and errors. If as an adult you’re not left out of it so how can a kid be. But they need to know that they can always come back to you for comfort and that belief is very important.
- When in doubt, follow your heart.
Teaching them this value is gonna keep them rooted. Always choose the path that your heart believes in and gives you happiness but is also right and just. The best test for this is, “Think about how would you feel if the same was done or said to you and you’ll have the answer”. A thing that I’ve taught my daughter.
- You did an awesome job.
Appreciation goes a long way. When kids put efforts and proudly share it with you, it is very important to appreciate.
- Be yourself.
Be you. Be the way you are. You need not be like others. You are just perfect. All these make a huge difference and help them accept the differences they see in them and their friends and that no matter what, you love them.
- I forgive you.
One of the most important thing to say to kids. Forgiving kids in their mistakes and then letting them know that helps them a lot to come back to you. Of course you should have “The Talk” but there should be no punishments or consequences. You also teach them a value of forgiveness.
- I’m sorry. That was my bad.
When parents accept their mistakes instead of hiding them, kids learn the habit of admitting. Apologizing to them never goes unnoticed. They understand that they are not the only ones saying sorry every time. They get a chance to bring the value of forgiveness in use. They learn that everyone does mistakes but it is important to accept them, learn from them and forgive them.
- You are right.
Won’t you love to know that you were right! Hear it! Especially when others were wrong. Kids love to know that they are right too. It makes them proud and makes them feel they are now growing up and able to take the right decisions.
- Can you teach me to…..
Its a moment for kids to enjoy when adults do not know something or atleast they pretend to. They love to teach their Mom and Dad. Learn how to make a drawing/craft or how to read a difficult word that they have mastered and see them bloom in happiness.
All we have to do is share our feelings with them, support them in their little issues and let them know that we understand. For them their issues are super huge and they need a little attention and a few kind words to make their world easier and tantrum less. Give them the joy of feelings and understanding.
This blog is a part of #LBWP – Let’s Blog with PRI, Season 2. You can also check out blogs written by my fellow bloggers Hansa and Avin.
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My World with Eira 
What a beautiful and insightful post Seema. I follow all of these tips while communicating with Ayaansh. These positive talks certainly make a difference in our Children’s thinking and confidence. And not to forget the spark in their eyes we talk to them re-emphasising our love to them.
Also, apologizing to our kids makes them realize the power of forgiveness and humility. Once again, awesome posy.
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Thanm you so much Amritha. It is indeed important to do what we preach especially with our kids.
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Beautiful Post seema… I often say my gals – I love you my cuppy cakes – and they just fill the room with their laughter and giggles… These words often seem to be negligible but have a greater impact on one’s life.
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I totally agree with you that we should love our kids unconditionally and never ask them anything in return. We should always be there for them no matter what the case may be.
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This is a brilliant post about positive parenting. Acceptance is the key in parenting that holds true for both parents and children.
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This is a perfect sign of parenting. Thanks for sharing this amazing post. Such talks can boost good feelings and increase motivation in kids. I am sharing this article with my friends.
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Words have a long lasting impact and these simple phrases will go afar to boost child’s confidence. Affirming your love and accepting your mistake are the biggest motivations. 🙂
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Omg I can relate to each one of those phrases. Specially ‘ you can come to me for anything’
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Beautiful post Seema. Specially in this time when we are already tired and frustrated, same is the situation with kids and it’s also evry easy for us to loose our cool on kids but being assertive with kids helps boost their morale and confidence. I always talk to my kids in a positive manner even if they have made a mistake. Its better to make them understand than shout.
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Thats a really useful post Seema how we talk to our kids makes all the difference to them. You might love them to the moon and back but if you aren’t expressing it to them or expressing it in the form of gifts and flowery words that you don’t mean, then they will do more harm than good.
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Simple things are most important in life. Sometime these simple communications can create a very strong baseline for our kids emotion and behaviour.
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I hope I become a Mom soon and have relationship with my kids like this. I am grateful,I love u no matter what and all those words are important for strong bond.
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Such an amazing post. We do make it a point to let them know that we love them and that we are so lucky to have them as our kids. Infact I even Ramsay sorry whenever I may have shouted at them. But yes, the other things you mentioned I havent been doing them. I guess I will give them a try too.
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Gosh this is exactly what I do with the kids. Especially the ‘you can tell me anything anytime’ phrase. Because I want them to know they shouldn’t be scared to tell me stuff.
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I agree that positive parenting is so important and it is really crucial to teach kids that they are loved no matter what. And it is okay to make mistakes and they can always learn from them. I do not have kids but I would definitely say that if every human being is taught these values, then the World will be a better place.
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These tips are very important as I child I remember how important they were for me so I also want to inculcate these for my daughter.
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This is such a beautiful post with amazing pointers ,being a mother I totally agree with your post.
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Very nice pointers. Appreciation is important as it gives the kid to explore more .
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Positive parenting is the only way to raise good kids. Parenting is such a challenge. I struggle every day.
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I m a firm believer of positive parenting principles dear and your post has reminded me all those once again. I believe no matter what we should try to behave positively with our kids . Your phrases are so awesome and luckily I used most of them with my girls.
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This was such a beautiful read. Having heart to heart talks with your child is something that can create an everlasting bond. I loved reading your take on this.
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Cant agree more. Positive parenting not just means not loosing our sanity. But it also means understanding the situation and changing out handling style. Lovely post.
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Absolutely loved reading this, couldn’t agree more. A child needs to hear positive affirmations from his parents, this is how we should raise our kids to be confident and happy.
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It’s so important to adopt positive parenting as it will give kids confidence and meaning of learning the right things…Lovely written post
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I saw the benefits of positive parenting when I started following it. I read about this approach and found it quite reasonable. I have observed so many positive changes in my son. I use most of these phrases with my son on a daily basis.
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It is what I believe in too – Positive parenting is essential in giving children a good solid childhood and it is the best way to bring up good children with values.
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What’s a beautiful post. I still remember the phrases use by my mother that boost my moral. Indeed this is good way to build confidence in kids
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